“Eyed” at the bank.

edge-of-the-world-beach-head-chalk-cliff-southern-england

This I wrote yesterday while the Moon was in Pisces:

Suddenly came a feeling…I have to write. When was the last time I wrote here? About one year ago it looks like. Today the Moon is in Pisces. Might be because of that I’ve been sort of drifting around the whole day. I have no idea where this little text will go but that´s how it´s supposed to be a day like this.

When I woke up on this job free day the Sun was shining but when I was finally out of the house heading for the city center it was suddenly fog everywhere. It happens quite often in this city of canals but when it’s on a Pisces Moon day it gives a much more spiritual and mystical feeling. Actually I love fog, it’s much easier to pretend that you live in a fairy tale then, and I love fairy tales.

Now talking about Pisces I would like to share a thing that happened to me a few days ago. It started like this that I had to go to the bank to complete a random bank task. I really dislike visiting the bank. I simply don’t like the energy there and I also dislike everything that a bank stands for. But I am a human. A human that lives in a society…so I went.

I wanted to make the procedure as less painful and simple as possible, so I put on my stone face and went with steady steps towards the young man with the intense colgate smile sitting behind the desk.

A polite man. Smiling constantly…almost a little too constant. Asking me all kinds of questions that I had no idea about that bank people asked, but I’m new in this place and I want to be polite in the new culture that I’m adapting too so I smile back politely and answer the questions as short as I can. (To be a Gemini I can be quite introvert some days and not at all the typical social genius Gemini, I blame Virgo rising)

It is something with this man’s smile that is not fully correct. It’s not that I think about it at that moment but I start sweating, but I don’t realize what is wrong at that moment, but my body gives my some kind of strong signals that I ignore in my attempt to be polite. (What kind of sickness is that, to be polite into insanity?!) My boyfriend would have said for sure if he was watching that the guy was flirting with me, but my intuition speaks something else.

The man while finishing my banking request simultaneously continues to ask me questions that I am sure are not obligatory in the banking process! These are a few of them:

  • What are you doing here?
  • What is your boyfriend doing
  • Where do you live?
  • Why did you come here?
  • How are you going to achieve this and that…?

Now after I am a little bit shocked that I didn’t react, said something. I see myself as a quite “reactive” person so to say. I am not lame at all, rather the opposite, but it was something about this whole situation that made me paralyzed and like those theater dolls that you pull in threads from above in order to make them move, and somebody was holding in my threads at this moment.

The eyes of that guy… yes the eyes, it is very important to mention that there was a desynchronisation of that guys eyes and smile.

That was it. My banking request was done and I went home. On the way home I feel upset somehow, but I cannot pin point out what it could be. By the time I am home I feel quite unbalanced and I break down and start crying. My boyfriend asks me what is going on and I tell him that I have no idea. My boyfriend (who has an incredible intuition) asks me what happened at the bank. I tell the story, and he says that he had a bad feeling about the bank already when I said I was going there. Then he says the one thing that makes even the most open minded girl in the world (me) skeptical.

– You got “eyed”!!!

Eh…ok. And what does that mean exactly? He explains that if a person look at you with some kind of bad thoughts and intentions this person can transfer “bad” energy to you, just by looking at you. My boyfriend is from South Europe and there this is widely known. I am from another place of earth but I also believe in energies although in my culture we never spoke about “eyeing” in this sense.

I cannot know exactly what happened but it was a one of a kind experience that’s for sure! That is not the way you´re supposed to feel after a bank meeting.  And it’s not like me at all to break down just because somebody looks strange at you.

I’ve been thinking a bit about this incident since then.  Many people have called me a “sensitive” person. This can mean so much, but I think that I do am extra sensitive to environments. This further made me think about Neptune and boundaries. People with strong emphasis on Pisces or Neptune in their birth chart are said to take extra care of them self when it comes to energy radiation. This is something that I’m still working on. I easily get “sucked” into situations and this can be both good and bad. On the positive side when I’m in an inspiring environment I can suck in this energy in a nanosecond and become completely ecstatic, but when I’m in a negative environment I can feel completely drained…also in a nanosecond. I have my natal Moon in the 12th house trine Neptune.

Another thing that I thought about is what could be the evolutionary purpose of being hyper sensitive to environments. I believe that everything has a evolutionary purpose, that every person has a purpose in the collective. We all have specific “skills” that we are meant to use in bringing the collective further in development.

What could be the evolutionary advantages for our specie by having hyper sensitive personalities? What do you think?

 

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Neptune – Walk the fog

Mike Jones

Mike Jones

Thinking of Neptune again…Neptunes placement in a persons birth chart always makes me a bit lost, thinking about it and try to interpret it, which is exactly the character of Neptune :P
Neptune can mean dissolved boundaries and fog. The rational mind doesn’t seem to work very well when we are strongly influenced by Neptune. Maybe going through a Neptune phase is like navigating through the fog with your senses instead of using the rational mind. To try to clear the fog with the rational mind is not possible I think when you have to deal with Neptunes power. And that is not Neptunes purpose either.
Somehow I believe that where Neptune transits in your birth chart is a place that needs to be “cleared out” from material energy. It´s an inward motion in that house that wants to explore the spiritual side of being a human and the things connected to that particular house. Neptune forces us to take a look inside of our self to find the answer. Forces I say because this is what happen when Neptune dissolves the boundaries that we sometimes hold to tightly to. When the boundaries and outer structures are dissolved we have no other choice then to look inside of our self to find this something to hold on to inside of our self. Maybe Neptunes lesson is, whatever house it transits, or where it is in the natal chart, to teach us that the material world is not any safer to hold on to then to our inner abilities and intuition. The structures of the material world are fragile, although many people knows this intellectually they/ we still put a lot of effort to build material structures around us. But are those structures more reliable then structures built from the inside of a person?
Every planet comes with its own lessons. And sometimes we have to learn it the hard way.
But Neptune is the least material planet of all, and when it makes a significant transit in your horoscope it won´t care how much you´ve “built” in this area of your life. You find yourself in a fog and the only thing you can hold on to is your senses and intuition. Sometimes it´s a pleasant fog, sometimes the more scary variant. But you will walk through the fog, try to relax, and trust that your senses will lead you to where you are meant to be. And finally you will find yourself outside the fog in a completely new place.

My Moon

full-moon

My Moon (Moon in 12th house)

I need to find my Moon.
It´s under a pile of trash, how did it end up there?
Who put it there?
I keep digging
It might suffocate if I don´t find it soon.
Moon is supposed to be among the stars
She´s the queen of the sky, spreading a stream of light in the darkest of nights
I keep digging, get all covered in dirt.
I need to put it back in the sky.
It really stinks in this trash can, must have been ages since somebody changed it.
I keep digging
Suddenly a voice speaks.
-“It´s in the ocean”
Somebody threw the Moon in the ocean!
She is with Neptune and all his mermaids.
Moon stay where you are.
I will come and get you.
I´ll search all the oceans until I find you
I swear I will find you Moon.

With inspiration from Åsa Vestergren

Dear lord when I get to heaven please let me bring my man

neptune-in-4th-house

The last weeks and particularly the latest days have been deep transformative for me. I´ve been extremely tired after everything that´s happened, and those days when I haven´t worked I´ve slept a lot. Like 11 hours per night and then also fallen asleep in the middle of the day. During those days I´ve wished I had a recorder to tape everything that has happened and transfer it directly to the blog without having to write. I would have liked to share those mysterious happenings with readers. I hope that I will have the energy soon to do that.
I´ve had many incidents with synchronicity that has affected me deeply. I´ve always seen myself as a skeptical spiritual person. It takes a while for me to understand that something happens to me which is impossible to explain with the rational mind.
It´s always a battle between the rational and the intuitive within me . This time I´ve completely capitulated for the intuitive.
To put it short. I had a very strong feeling that I was heading in the wrong direction but I chose to ignore it. Because of both fear from the unknown and laziness I would say. When I made this choice it was as if the Universe with thunder and flashes put together a whole army to show me that I was heading in the wrong direction and that I´ve recently made some bad choices. Strange coincidences and synchronizing events happened to me.
Dear Universe, from now on I will not ignore the signals that you send me! I can´t promise that I will never fall victim again of my ego and fear of the unknown and un walked paths, but I will make the biggest effort to see and hear better those things that the rational immediately rejects.
Today I want to post a video here that affects me a lot. I´ve been thinking about the planet Neptune a lot lately. I think that we have some unfinished business together. That’s the only explanation that I have. I think it´s a part of me that I have to work with.
Neptune is the love and art planet. Music and dance. Now you might say – no that is Venus! Yes Venus also. Neptune and Venus are related to each other. But Neptune is a deeper version of Venus.
Neptune is connected to the oceans of the world. The deep and unknown. That captures the feeling of Neptune. Venus love is more on the surface, charm and beauty.
The oceans are mysterious ,beautiful and it´s hard for us humans to know what´s in them. But if we want to connect to our deeper self it´s necessary for us to dive into that ocean. If we want to experience deep love. Remember also that water is the “healing” element.
We can choose to stay on a Venus level of love but where will this lead us in the long run?
I think that when Neptune is trying to connect to us it will do so in small and indirect manners. Whispers, intuitive moments and signs that are barely noticeable. This is what I think happened to me the last weeks, but my contact with Neptune has been very bad, so I got those signs more like sirens actually :P
Lana Del Rey is an artist that really has a Neptunian aura, her music, style and whole artistry is very Neptunian I think. Deep, mysterious and beautiful…
Will you still love me when I´m not young and beautiful?
Almost all her songs speak to a deeper part of me.